Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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