I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
