I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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