goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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