theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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