We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
