in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We are two peas in an std pod
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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