Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
