You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
