No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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