I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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