called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
