I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
