he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
bring money and cleavage
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
