if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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