She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
