it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize