he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
