ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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