I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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