You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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