i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
