I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
