everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We just shotgunned beers for America
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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