sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
