Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
