the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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