You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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