You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
