my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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