NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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