ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
