Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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