Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
