I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
