You smell like stripper and shame
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
