It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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