Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
