We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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