You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
