Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
