Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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