Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
