Screwed.edu
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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