Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
