...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
