If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Found your dick twin last night
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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