someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
