too bad you live with your parents still
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
