my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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