well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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