Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
pop tarts are not kleenex
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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