I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
is it fun? or sober?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
