i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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