just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
