I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize