In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
