it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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