Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
