My first STD was from a foam party
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
