i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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