so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
